Love Locked Away: Dear Soul, don't you forget how to love.

Once, a guy I dated asked me, "Why are you so loving? For you, it’s like your partner is the best, without fault." And I said to him, almost without thinking, "Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?" Love, to me, has always felt like the most natural thing in the world, an offering, a surrender, a way of seeing people as they truly are. But in that moment, I realised something profound: genuine love is rare, not because people don’t want it, but because they’ve forgotten how to give and receive it fully.

That realization stayed with me. I began to see how many people carry wounds from childhood, from relationships, from the world itself, wounds that make them cautious, skeptical, guarded. Not everyone grows up in a home where love is expressed freely, where warmth is a given. Some have never known what it means to be held without reason, to be accepted without conditions. And so, they hesitate, they measure, they hold back, afraid to give because they have learned that love can hurt.

I truly believe that a lack of love, not just receiving it, but the inability to fully express it, is what leads to so much sadness in the world. Suppressed emotions, the fear of being vulnerable, the habit of bottling up feelings instead of letting them flow, this, I think, is the root of stress, of anxiety, of depression. We’ve been conditioned to behave a certain way, to maintain a facade, to function outwardly while burying our deepest feelings. And all that energy, all those unspoken words, all those withheld embraces, they don’t disappear. They linger, they build, they weigh on the heart.

Look at how we’ve extended human life. The average lifespan of Homo sapiens used to be 30 to 35 years. Now, we live to 60, 70, even 80. But have we truly learned how to live? We’ve figured out how to avoid dying, but have we learned how to experience life? And in all that time we’ve gained, we’ve created more stress, more lack, more fear. We focus on what we don’t have, on what others don’t do for us, on what’s missing. We become so accustomed to noticing the flaws, the gaps, the imperfections that we stop trusting we are worthy of something whole, something beautiful. And that’s why so many find themselves stuck in half-baked relationships, in lukewarm love, in a life that never quite feels full.

Love is not a definition or a formula. It flows with intention, with good intention. It is not meant to be calculated, weighed, or strategized. It moves with authenticity, with presence, and with the willingness to give without expecting something in return. Love is meant to be felt, not measured. It is an act of courage. It is an act of trust.

And yet, people hesitate. They hold back, ration their affection, guard their hearts as if love is something to be spent sparingly. I’ve seen people resist even the simplest of gestures, a hug, a kind word, an open embrace. Why do we fear what is meant to set us free? Love is not about control or outcomes. It’s about presence. It’s about giving, because giving itself is the reward. People may not remember what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Sadhguru once said that Shiva is not just a creator but a destroyer, because real love reshapes you. It breaks down the walls you didn’t even know you had, softens the rough edges, and rebuilds you into something even more open and beautiful. And maybe that’s what scares people, the vulnerability of it all. But isn’t that the point? To live a life so rich in love that you’re willing to be transformed by it?

And it doesn’t matter what you receive, because the moment you focus on loving, on being a kind and loving person, you naturally attract that energy into your life. Love flows where love is given, and so many people have already experienced this transformation. It’s time to notice the gestures of love from your partner, your friends, your family. They may not express it the way you expect, but love still exists in its own form. Stop restricting love to the rules in your head, to a story you once heard, to expectations that limit its power. Drop it all. At the end of it all, love is surrender in embrace.

Surrender in love, the kind that feels rather than speaks. It isn’t just words. It is the quiet presence, the unspoken devotion, the energy that flows without restraint. So, would you be brave enough to love that deeply? To give sincerely? Do you have the courage to feel with your whole heart and be loved in return?

And as you reflect on all the things you wish others would do for you, ask yourself—how many of those things are you doing for them? Without resistance, without hesitation, without expectation? It’s time to check yourself. Love is waiting, if only you let it in.